Tommy Gabrini 3: Grace Under Fire (The Gabrini Men Series) Page 14

  “No,” he admitted, staring into her eyes. “But I have to be. And you have to be too. No matter how long it takes, you have to be sure, Grace. Because if you come back, there will be no turning back.”

  And he pulled her into his arms once again.

  That same evening, she moved back into her apartment. Trina and Gemma drove her to the apartment. Tamara was there, which helped, but it was a solemn occasion. And when Trina and Gemma left, and Grace was alone in her bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed and cried. She felt so weak, and she felt like such a failure. But she still remembered that look in Alex’s eyes. She now realized just how determined and heartless these women really were. And it spooked her. She couldn’t lie. She was spooked.

  She had been so close to dying in that car. If Tommy would not have risked his life, she would have died. And she was eternally grateful to him. That alone should have kept her right by his side. But right now, she needed time to think. When she married Tommy, after Sal had to do what he did to their own father, she thought she fully understood what being a Gabrini truly meant. But she had no idea. None. And she was only now just realizing it.

  She went into her kitchen, poured herself a glass of water, and sat at her center island. Tamara called herself cooking them some dinner, but as soon as her new boyfriend called, she was gone. Which was fine by Grace. She didn’t want company anyway. Not even Tommy’s company.

  Earlier she was certain Tommy would change his mind and order her to return to the estate. But he didn’t do it. He phoned her later that night and asked if she was all right. She said she was. He again said that he would respect her decision, which Grace was relieved to hear. He was willing to give her some space. She loved him all the more for that.

  But that didn’t mean it felt good. It didn’t. Not for her, and not for Tommy either. Even he slept in fits and starts the night Grace left him. Alex had been dealt with and Reno and family had gone back to Vegas. Sal had tried to hang around, but Tommy had insisted that he was okay. But he wasn’t. And he knew, without Grace, he wasn’t going to be.

  But he honored her wishes. He threw himself into his work, spending more time out of the country than he spent Stateside, as he was determined to give Grace the space she needed to make up her mind. He knew it would be a long process. Weeks, if not longer. Because it wasn’t going to be as easy as yes and no. He had to give her the space to make a decision, change her mind, and then make her final call. It was devastating him, but he loved her enough to allow her the space he knew she needed. It was quickly shaping up to be the hardest, most difficult thing he’d ever had to do.

  The only time they were together, was four days into their separation, when he took her to the Mercedes Benz dealership and purchased her a new car. But even then they kept it formal. Time was needed, he knew, and he was determined to give her time.

  The days came and went, and he continued to allow her the space she said she needed. Then the days turned into weeks. And by the third week of her decampment, it was time for Reno’s son’s wedding. And to everybody’s surprise, Grace showed up in Vegas for the nuptials. Even Tommy hadn’t expected to see her there. But when he realized she was in attendance, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He was in the wedding party, and had his duties as a groomsman. But as soon as they had moved to the ballroom at Reno’s PaLargio Hotel and Casino, for the very festive reception, he grabbed a couple of glasses of wine, and headed her way.

  “Thanks,” she said as he handed one of the drinks to her.

  “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, looking down at the form-fitting dress she wore.

  Grace smiled. She had seen him so little in the last few weeks that she suddenly felt lovesick seeing him again. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she said. “Jimmy’s such a sweet young man, and Valerie’s sweet too.”

  Tommy stared into her eyes. Her sparkle wasn’t back yet, but she was getting there. She was on the mend. “So how have you been doing?” he asked her.

  She nodded. She wasn’t going to pretend everything was wonderful. It wasn’t. “I’m working,” she said. “I’m keeping myself busy.”

  Tommy could relate to that.

  “What about you?” she asked him.

  “I’m due in Chicago after I leave here, so I’m keeping myself busy too.”

  “Chicago again? Merger or acquisition?”

  “Acquisition. Should be a quick turnaround though, if all goes well.”

  “Let’s hope all goes well,” Grace said.

  “Thanks,” Tommy said. “So how’s your sister? Behaving?”

  “Barely, but yes.”

  “No problems?”

  “Not so far. But then again, she got herself a new boyfriend and spends most of her time with him. So I’m mostly home alone. But I’m used to that too.”

  Tommy’s heart squeezed with anguish. She should be happy and carefree. Not sitting around a lonely apartment trying to decide if her husband was worth it or not. When, deep down, he knew he wasn’t.

  “You know you can always call me if you want somebody to talk to,” he said. “No matter where I am.”

  “Oh, I know, Tommy. I know that. But I’m good, don’t worry.”

  “You look beautiful.”

  Grace smiled. “Thank-you. So do you.”

  Tommy’s smile was far weaker, and he was quickly serious again. This was his wife. It felt as if he was talking to a stranger. And he didn’t like it. But he had promised to give her time. “How did you get here?”

  “I flew.”

  “Commercial?” This upset Tommy. “Why would you do that, Grace? You could have phoned me, or rode with Sal, or Reno could have sent his plane.”

  “It’s fine, Tommy. Before I met you, commercial was the only way I flew. I’m used to it. It was no issue at all.”

  “Maybe not to you, but it’s an issue to me. We may be separated right now, but you’re still my wife, and my wife don’t fly commercial. You’ll fly back with me, whether you like it or not.”

  “But I thought you were going to Chicago from here?”

  “I am. But I’m taking you home first.”

  Grace smiled. She would have expected nothing less from him. “Thanks,” she said. Then she saw Trina out of the corner of her eye. “I’d better go check on Tree. She has a lot on her plate and I promised to help her out.”

  “Sure thing,” Tommy said, and watched as she walked away. And just like that, watching her leave him again, he made up his mind. He knew he had promised her. He knew she undoubtedly needed more time. But he wanted her back. There were no ands, ifs or buts about it. And before that plane landed back in Seattle, he decided he was going to have her back.

  He kept his hand on the small of her back as he walked her across the tarmac and up the ramp of the plane. Even the crew was happy to see her again, they hadn’t seen her since Paris, and all of them greeted her with smiles and even hugs.

  “Glad to see you again, Mrs. Gabrini.”

  “Enjoy the flight, Mrs. Gabrini.”

  “Welcome back, Mrs. Gabrini.”

  Grace was happy to be back too. Sometimes, when she was alone in her room, or in her office at work, she wondered if she was the smartest woman in the world to reevaluate her relationship with a much-sort after man like Tommy, or the dumbest. And as she sat down on his plane, and he sat down, not across from her as she had expected him to, but beside her, and she felt overwhelmed by his presence alone, dumbest was winning out by a mile.

  He crossed his legs and held her hand as the plane lifted off. By the time they were airborne, and able to remove their seatbelts, he was squeezing her hand. Grace looked at Tommy. She knew this was a tough time for him too.

  Tommy looked at her. The idea of her getting off of this plane and going her own way again, was a nonstarter for him. “I want you to do me a favor,” he said to her.

  “And what is that?”

  “I want you to tell me exactly how you’re doing. For real this time.
”

  Grace attempted to smile off the request, but Tommy’s seriousness forced her to keep it real too. “I’m doing . . I’m staying busy.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say. Are things great? No. We’re in transition, how can things be great? But I’m managing, Tommy.”

  She waited for him to respond to that, but he didn’t. She studied his eyes. He looked exhausted, but it didn’t seem as if he was as stressed and strained as she felt that she was. She needed to know his true state as well. “And you?” she asked. “How’s it going with you? Are you okay?”

  “I haven’t been okay since you left me. I won’t be okay until you come back home.” Grace looked away from him. “I know it’s unfair, love. I know I promised to give you more time. But I can’t continue to live apart from you. I know what happened to you was a traumatic thing. I know I can’t even imagine how scary it was for you. But Alex has been dealt with, Grace. Her craziness is over. And as for those other females, they’re just full of shit trying to break us up. And by staying apart, we’re doing exactly what they want us to do.”

  “Has any of them approached you since I’ve been gone?”

  Tommy hated to admit it, but he wasn’t going to lie to her or sugarcoat the challenges their marriage still faced. “Yes,” he said. “I’ve been approached. But they all understand my commitment to you. They all understand that you’re the one I want.”

  But those females were still on Grace’s mind. “One or two,” she asked, “or more than that?”

  Tommy exhaled. “More,” he admitted. When a flustered look appeared on her face and she looked away from him, he took her chin in his hand and turned her face back toward him. “You’re the one I want,” he said with so much sincerity that his eyes seemed to water over. “I don’t want any other woman. I don’t give a damn if they dance naked on my face, Grace, I don’t want them. I want you.”

  “But do they understand that, Tommy? You’ve been playing the field for so long that maybe they think you’re still on the meat market. Maybe they think---” Then tears appeared in Grace’s eyes.

  “I know, darling,” he said, pulling her into his arms. Then he lifted her onto his lap, holding her tightly. “I know.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” he said. “I love you too much, Tommy.”

  “And I love you. I know it’s been hard, Grace. I know you didn’t sign up for all you’ve been put through.”

  Tears were falling freely from Grace’s eyes now. “I don’t know what to do. When that woman rammed my car, and it went down that embankment, I thought. . . I just knew . . .” She covered her face and Tommy wrapped her into his arms, rocking her.

  He squeezed his eyes shut too. Because he knew what it meant being married to a man like him. Because he, too, was coming to realize his own miscalculations. He should have never married her. And it was early enough in their marriage for her to realize it too.

  And he had to face his own realization. He was wrong. He had thought all along that somehow he was going to shield her. He had thought, despite Sal’s protestations, and Reno’s, that he was going to be able to keep Grace away from it all. Reno couldn’t shield Trina. But he thought he could do it differently. He thought he could shield Grace. He was wrong.

  His heart ached at the reality he had to face. But he had to face it. Because he loved her. He loved her deeply. And he knew, if he truly loved her, he had to let her go. Now, before it was too late. Now, before she was so entrenched in being a Gabrini that she was in it for life. It would destroy him, but it could redeem her.

  He steeled himself and placed his hand on her chin, so that she could be certain to see just how serious he was. Seeing her sad, crying eyes made his decision all the more necessary. He reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief. “I need you to do me another favor, Grace,” he said to her.

  She began to wipe her eyes. “A favor?”

  “Yes.” He nearly buckled, but he knew he had to release her from all obligations to him. “I want us to move on.”

  “Move on? Together?”

  But Tommy shook his head. “No. Not together. I want us to go our separate ways.” Those words alone tore at his soul. But he refused to let her see it. “I need you to go your separate way.”

  She stared at him. “What are you saying, Tommy?”

  “I’m saying. . .” He wasn’t going to be able to say those words, but he knew he had to say those words. For Grace. All for Grace. “I want a divorce,” he forced himself to say.

  Grace’s heart dropped through her shoe. One terrible incident, and everything suddenly changed. For her first, and now for him too. But a divorce? That would mean that it was over with Tommy. That would mean she would never again be related to him. She would just be the ex-wife. No kids, no family, no Tommy.

  And she couldn’t bear that.

  “I can’t,” she started, but Tommy cut her off.

  “Yes you can,” he said. Then he turned firm. “And you will.”

  “Tommy, no!”

  “Yes, Grace, yes! It’s final. My attorney will draw up the papers and that will be that. Those females will leave you alone, and you’ll go on with your life.”

  “And what about you?” she asked him, staring in his eyes, daring him to lie to her.

  Tommy didn’t flinch. He couldn’t. For her sake, he couldn’t. “And I’ll go on with mine.”

  Grace stared at him. And for the first time she realized it was true. He’d be able to have a life without her. He had his work, and his family, and, if she were to be honest with herself, his women. Plenty of those. Tommy would be just fine. She wouldn’t, but she knew Tommy would.

  She got off of his lap and sat back in her seat. And for the rest of the trip they just sat there in silence, side by side but worlds apart, as they both reached their own conclusions. But as Tommy looked over at her, and realized just what his decision truly meant, he was about to buckle already. How in the world was he going to live without Grace? She gave him a sense of grounding that no other woman could ever give to him. She gave him normalcy and decency. How could he give that up? But it wasn’t about him, he had to remind himself. That was how.

  Grace, too, was torn. She knew being Mrs. Tommy Gabrini carried risks. She knew it better now than she’d ever known it before. She thought it wouldn’t be so bad. Tommy didn’t have the kind of mob connections that Reno had, and that Sal seemed to have. His problems were always female-related. She thought she could handle any girl. She was wrong too.

  She looked at him. He looked at her. His eyes were filled with pain. Her eyes were filled with anguish. They both dreaded this moment with a sinking dread.

  “What about me?” Grace asked him.

  Her question threw him. “You? This is all about you, Grace. You think I made this decision lightly, without considering you?”

  “I think, like always, you made a decision without including me. And since this concerns my entire future too, I think I should have a say.”

  Tommy stared at her. He was so torn it felt as if his very flesh was being ripped apart. In his selfishness, he wanted her to turn him down. He wanted her to say she would never agree to a divorce. But in his love for her, he knew it had to be.

  “I don’t want a divorce,” she said to him. “I love you too much.”

  “I love you too. You’ll never understand how much I love you. But that’s exactly why I have to do this. Because I love you and I know what’s best for you.”

  “I know what’s best for me.”

  “Then there should be no disagreement,” Tommy said firmly. “My attorney will draw up the papers, and we will be divorced.”

  Grace stared at him. She remembered how he was once engaged to ShoShawna Shanks, the first woman he ever committed to, and how he dumped her too. And he never looked back. Now he was dumping her. No matter how hard she tried to understand his reasons, it still felt like rejection. He wasn’t in love with
her enough, she felt, to fight through it. Better to end it now, and cut his losses, than to drag her along for all eternity.

  Tears reappeared in her big brown eyes and she stood up quickly, to go to the restroom, to get away from him.

  But she felt a strong hand on her wrist. When she turned, Tommy was looking up at her. And that defiance he had in his voice, was not revealed in his eyes. Pain was in his eyes.

  He pulled her down on his lap. They stared into each other’s eyes. “I can’t do it,” he said, disappointment, regret, anguish, and love all over his face. “I can’t let you go.”

  But his words were like music to her ears. “You can’t?”

  “I can’t,” he said, shaking his head. “For the very reason I need to let you go, I can’t let you go. I love you too much.”

  Grace’s heart leaped with joy. He wasn’t willing to dump her after all. He was willing to fight.

  “When we get back to Seattle, I’m going to drop you off at your apartment. You will pack your clothes, get in your car, and come home. I have to go by my office, to make sure it’s still standing, and then I’ll meet you at the house.”

  “And then?”

  “And then I’m going to take my wife dancing, just as I was going to do the day that accident happened.”

  Grace smiled. She loved the idea of that. But then she frowned. “But I thought you had to be in Chicago.”

  “I did. I do. But that will have to wait. My marriage, my wife, always comes first.”

  Grace threw herself into his arms. Tommy gladly held her, because he was relieved too. But it was relief with a heavy heart. Nothing had changed the truth of their union. She was still a Gabrini and would still be subject to all manner of evil. But he would protect her. That was his responsibility to her. That was his solemn vow to her. He would stand by her and keep her safe from harm. That, he felt as he held her, was the least he could do.

  SIXTEEN

  Tommy’s Ferrari was waiting for them at the airstrip in Seattle when they un-boarded the plane. And after he dropped Grace off at her apartment and headed for his office, both of them excited about the night they had planned, she headed upstairs to pack.